Y’all! If you’ve just recently had a baby, or if you’re about to have a baby, let me fill you in on a little secret called timing. Timing is literally going to be your new best friend. Your life. You need to eat, drink, and breathe it in, and then thank it for changing whatever horrible sleep situation you’re currently living in, because it will.

Did you know that babies have 45(ish) minute sleep cycles? OF COURSE NOT! For whatever reason, no one finds it important to write this anywhere online, but it’s an important factor when planning out baby’s day, and can make drastic changes, literally overnight, to your little one’s sleep, or lack thereof. Basically, what I’m saying is that every 45 minutes your baby is transitioning into a new sleep cycle, so at almost EXACTLY 45 MINUTES after your newborn wakes up they are at the most likely time to fall back asleep. The same goes for older babies, too, they just have different wake windows. Example: 6 month old baby Jack woke up from his first nap at 10:00 am, and the appropriate wake window for his age is “2 hours – 2.5 hours,” but following sleep cycle increments of 45 minutes, his mom knows that at almost EXACTLY 12:15 (3 increments of 45 minutes) he’ll fall asleep for his second nap. Jack’s mom puts him down for his nap at 12:10, after following his regular nap time routine, so he’s cozy, in his own space, and ready for his nap BY 12:15. She picks up a few things before going downstairs and when she checks the monitor at 12:16, he’s asleep.

Out of all the important sleep related details, this is my number one share. SLEEP CYCLES + WAKE WINDOWS = HAPPY SLEEPER. If you take nothing else out of this, please at least just go pick up a pen and jot down a reminder to look up your baby’s current wake window in relation to their age. Then, remember that sleep cycles play a huge role in when baby will be most likely to fall asleep – HAPPILY – and stay asleep, on their own.

Now here’s a fun word you’ll likely hear a LOT when seeking out infant advice in general. Not even just sleep related, though it is key to sleep success as well. ROUTINE.

Ever watch Gilmore Girls? I mean…can we just be real and assume you have, because, well, you’re human and female and likely over the age of 20? Ok, so in Gilmore Girls, Lorelai is a coffee addict (We could have been best friends if she were real!) and regularly yells out things like, “COFFEE, COFFEE, COFFEE,” when she needs a jolt. She gets cranky, unpredictable, and yells more when said coffee is not delivered within a reasonable amount of time. Your new goal in life is to imagine you have a little baby Lorelai running around yelling, “ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE,” knowing that nothing positive will come of your day or night if baby doesn’t get her routine. Give baby her routine.

Even beyond infancy, children strive off of a routine, though it is specifically important at the younger ages, since we have no way of verbally communicating with them for quite some time. It helps them to learn what’s coming next and therefor feel secure, because they can expect the same thing that happened yesterday to happen again today. Secure baby = happy baby. Happy baby = calm baby. Calm baby = sleeping baby. See where I’m going with this? Pick a routine. Stick to it. The end.

So, I’m sure you’ve heard about baby’s sleep cues and that you need to keep an eye out for them. Rubbing eyes, zoned out, or cranky baby? They’re clearly ready for a nap. Well, here’s the thing: Sometimes when going into nap or bedtime, even though your little nugget is exhausted and ready to sleep, they just need some reassurance of what’s coming next. This clearly runs parallel with creating a routine, but more specifically refers to the types of things you can do to tell baby that the big, long, overnight sleep is happening soon, rather than just the nap thing that happens during the day. How, you ask? By giving baby sleep cues!

Sleep cues are a wonderful way of letting baby know that sleep is coming, and not just any sleep, but specifically nap or overnight sleep. Things like playing quiet classical music before a bath or a calm story, darkening the room, or rubbing a lavender scented lotion on baby after bath and giving a little massage to stimulate those pressure points in the feet that say, “Hey, be tired now,” are all wonderful sleep cues. Setting up these regular nightly sleep cues may seem entirely overkill to us because when we’re tired we just go to bed, but for babies who are still learning when, and for how long they’re expected go to sleep, cues are incredibly helpful.

*Please note that the only sound that should be playing overnight is some version of white, pink, or unicorn colored noise – playing actual music can be overstimulating. *Also note that unicorn colored noise 100% does not exist but oh my goodness there are so many other colors. Why are there so many colors???

Remember that famous movie line, “Nobody puts Baby in the corner?” Well, everybody SHOULD put baby down awake but drowsy. I literally cannot stress this enough. Put your baby down AWAKE but DROWSY.

“But how will I know when they’ll be tired enough to do that? How will I know the right timing?” – Almost every single mom I’ve ever worked with.

The trick is that you need to go back to that slightly less than pepto bismol colored pink rectangle at the top that says, “Sleep Tip #1,” and read it again. Sleep cycles! BAM. Become well versed in sleep cycles and then become a type A ninja for a few weeks. Soon you’ll find yourself calculating out the day just for fun, betting your spouse that baby will be asleep “at exactly 12:45,” and enjoying the shock on their face when you’re right.

I’m asked all the time, “Why awake but drowsy? Why can’t I just nurse them to sleep? I love the connection time!” Real answer? I get that. Like…to my core, I get that. And if I’m being totally honest, if that’s your response to this section you’re likely not ready to make that change…and that’s okay. Everyone is ready at different times. I think the reason it was so easy for me to step back and say, “Well, obviously it’s time for this to happen,” is because before having my daughter I was a nanny for more than 10 years while simultaneously working in daycare centers and preschools. So when I say that it really does make life so much better all around when you cut the cord… I mean it.

Moms literally say to me, “Oh my gosh, my baby is a completely different child! He’s never been this happy before.” Well, yeah! They’re getting an appropriate amount of sleep now. Imagine going through life on the sleep you were getting those first two weeks after having baby, with everyone tiptoeing around you because you could snap at any moment from sheer exhaustion. I just played that out in my head and it was terrible.

The whole reason for doing this “awake but drowsy” thing, is that when you put baby down after rocking or nursing them to sleep, they wake up in a different place and freak out. And understandably so. They’ve fallen asleep in their most favorite place in the entire world – mom’s arms. Then, they wake up in a crib and mom is nowhere to be found. Girl, you better believe that if I fell asleep with my hubby wrapped around me but then woke up at 2 am and he was nowhere in sight I’d be flipping out, too! And I’m an adult. They’re tiny babies with very few life experiences. Teach them at a young age how to do it on their own. Give them a new life skill and let everyone in the house #GeauxGetSomeSleep!